bliss :)

Hendrix and I taking a field trip to Utah County to visit great grandma last Thursday. He was just helping. :) It was a stop light.

Hes a little tuckered out. It was a very long field trip

My dog is the coolest dog ever! I can't believe Its only been 10 days!!! I feel like I have known this dog forever. :) He's my happiness. My everything. I love telling him my darkest secrets. He doesn't judge me. He just loves me. :) I think everyone should have a dog in their lives.

New Addition!!!!!!!!!

So some of you may not know, but I have adopted a dog. :) I got him from the humane society on Saturday. He was rescued from a puppy mill. :( He is the most loving precious thing ever. He is a 2year old Shih Tzu. I'm very happy to have found him. It will be a big responsibility, but I know I can do it. I have a lot of love to give, and it feels so good to not be all alone in my apt. I have named him Hendrix (I love Jimmy Hendrix) Finnegan Russell :) I call him Rix for short though.

Driving home :)

He is so precious!

Hes asleep while I get ready for work. He is laying on his stuffed frog. I love watching him drag round his toys. :) He's grown attached to a little care bear I have. It makes me laugh watching try and carry it around :)

Empty

Nobody understands this emptiness I feel,
Hopeless, how long will I feel this way?
Mindless, What? I'm sorry what did you say
Anxious, I sinned, what will happen to me today?
Worthless, what do I enjoy, why am I here, I forget.
Overwhelmed, how long can I live like this?
Up and down, I feel sad, I feel angry, I feel regret
Questions so many questions, why do I even exist
Antisocial, I love you, but please leave me alone.
Desperation, I've tried everything, theres nothing I can do
Too late, I am getting old, I am already grown
Distrust, you will let me down, you only care about you
Did they ever really love me, or did I just push them away?
They said they did, was it true?
I know this isn't right but I can't control this,
I know this isn't healthy, but what can I do?
I feel so empty sometimes, no emotion, no sadness, no anger, no happiness.
Just hollow, nothing inside, void of any feeling.
Empty.

Damaged

Desperately wanting the nightmare to end.
Unable to heal,
Unable to mend.
Repressed pain of the past,
Comes to haunt me at last.
My sanity sinking,
And I'm tied to the mast.
Never asking for this,
I was given no choice.
Abused and disposed of,
And left with no voice.
Stripped of trust,
Deprived of self worth.
Locked away in my own,
Private hell on earth.
I need to get out,
I have to break free.
But it all seems so hopeless,
Because I can't find the key.